Glee - S04E09心得 (待補)

"This reminds me of season one, when Glee started. At the beginning of the season, I was a bit skeptical, I thought Ryan Murphy took the wrong path. Now I understand him completely. In this season, I cried in every single episode, and I'm glad I did. Even tough it were small things that pulled my trigger, I'm glad this is like the old Glee again, with a good little twist. " - by Komenter (via)

「Don't Dream It's Over讓我想起了第一季Glee剛開始播的時光。在第四季一開始的時候，我懷疑Ryan Murphy不應該這麼做，但我現在我完全了解了。在這一季，我每一集都在哭，而且我還很開心我能這麼做。即使是被瑣碎的細節牽動我的情緒，在經過那些小而美好的轉變後，我很高興那個舊的Glee回來了。」-  by Komenter

看Glee也看了一年多了，我的心情跟這位網友講得有點像...這集讓我有些百感交集。第三季Glee Club畢業的時候，我沒什麼感覺，但這集的Glee解散的時候，就如Sue所說的－－突然一切是多麼地空虛啊。所以當我看到這首歌《Don't Dream It's Over》的時候，讓我回想起從第一季開始看Glee的時光...說到底，我內心深處有一部分還是認同著這部節目吧。

即使Glee一直是這麼地不完美，它卻是我看過的連續劇中最牽動我情緒的一部。所以，即使我一直對它產生失望與失落的情緒，我一直蠻珍惜它帶給我的一切，因為它讓我認識了許多美好的人事物，即使其中有許多已經消逝殆盡。就像Emily在這篇問答曾說過的一樣：

Now, I’d always loved writing, but I’d also always shoved it aside as something “lesser” than academia, which is complete and utter horseshit, but it’s what I told myself so I could sleep at night and not regret every damn decision I made in college.  But I couldn’t ignore it with Glee.  I had to talk about Glee, I had to write about it, I had to think about it.  There’s something about this show that draws me in and makes my brain fire on more circuits and cylinders than anything I ever learned in school did.  As infuriating and aggravating and upsetting and disappointing the show it, it’s still exciting.  It still keeps me interested.

我雖然喜歡寫作，它在我的心目中卻僅次於學術研究。雖然學術研究常常是一派胡言，我常告訴我自己，學術比寫作重要，所以我才能在晚上安心睡覺，才不會後悔我在大學做過的爛決定。但是，一談到Glee，我變得無法忽視寫作。我必須要談論Glee、必須要寫Glee、必須要想Glee。這個節目有使我入迷的地方，也讓我的腦袋開始運作，是我在學校學習時不曾有過的。雖然這個節目是如此地讓人惱羞成怒及沮喪，它還是令人興奮的。它仍讓我保持關注。

I have better, deeper, more fulfilling conversations about media and TV and characters and the very art of writing than I do anywhere else.  I have conversations that span google documents and ask boxes and text messages and email accounts.  The discourse here is better than anything, as upsetting as it can be because of the writing decisions.  When I walk out of class, the last thing I want to do is think about it again until the next lecture.

自此，我開始有了更好、更深入、更令人滿足的對話，與人談論著媒體、電視、角色以及寫作的藝術，是我在其他地方找不到的。我開始經由google文件、tumblr的信箱、簡訊以及電子郵件與人聊天。這些談話勝於一切，但同時也可能因為寫作技巧而令人沮喪。而當我走出教室時，我卻很不想再重溫一次課程內容，也許到下次上課的時候才會再碰一次吧。

Watching Glee, discussing it as in-depthly as I do with people, writing fan fic and occasionally feeling good about what I produce, it all lead me towards a new goal.  One that I should have oriented myself towards 8 years ago.  The one I wanted in the first place and told myself I couldn’t have.

看Glee、並與人進行有深度的談話、寫同人文、偶爾滿足地看著自己寫的東西，都讓我走向新的目標。一個我應該八年前就該走向的目標。一個我一開始想要的目標，我卻告訴自己我無法擁有的目標。

So I changed course.  I’m taking creative writing classes (and maybe doing ok there) and working on a creative thesis (a novel) instead of critical theory.  I’m taking a TV writing class because that’s what I want to do now.  Because of this stupid fucking show.  I want to be a part of that.  I want to write things that make people as passionate about something I created as Glee (and other shows, of course) have made me.

所以我改變了我的人生軌道。我上創意寫作課（而且好像上得還OK）。然後不再寫批判性的理論，開始著手創作小說。我上電視寫作課，而那也是我現在想要做的。就是因為這個愚蠢至極的電視節目。我想要成為它的一部分。我想要寫些像Glee的東西（還有其他電視節目啦，當然）讓人們也能夠著迷，就好像Glee曾讓我和人們都一樣著迷一樣。

And I’ve met some of my best friends through this website.  There are people here nearer to me then the vein in my throat.  I wouldn’t trade that for anything.

而且，經由tumblr，我交了些摯友。這些朋友，甚至比我心頭肉還要親密。我不願用這群朋友來換取任何東西。

This fucking show is shaping the new, better course of my life.  So no, I can’t abandon it, not when it may have given me everything. (via)

這個該死的電視節目正在為我塑造一個嶄新、更棒的人生軌道。所以，不，我無法放棄Glee，因為它給了我一切。（來源）

Yes, I'm invested so much because it has let me meet people, know people, talk with people, write some fanfics, draw some fanarts and  enjoy the beauty of it. And you know what? It turned out SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL.

So I never want to dream it's over.

不過就算這麼說，前提是Klaine最後一定要復合。不然我大概也追不下去了...Q_Q

心得晚點補上。